With the skyrocketing popularity of a lovely little book called 50 Shades of Grey, Ben Wa balls have been flying off the shelves at Déjà vu Love Boutique. This actually makes me very happy as these wonderful little tools have both pleasure and health benefits. However, it seems they are wildly misunderstood and misused so this week let’s take a look at these mysterious sexy orbs and how they can be beneficial for a woman and her partner.

Why Use Ben Wa Balls?

Before we look at why Ben Wa balls are wonderful we have to understand the vagina. This part can be confusing because most people do not know that the vagina is actually a muscular canal. It is part of the pubococcygeal (PC) muscles that runs from your tailbone to your pubic bone and helps keep the bladder and the uterus in place. The muscles are more fibrous than the ones in, say your arms, because they are also meant to stretch. However, like any muscle they can be built up. Strong PC muscles not only help treat and prevent incontinence but also affect orgasm.

Oh did that grab your attention?

Strong, toned, healthy PC muscles will intensify a clitoral and a G spot orgasm.  The stronger the muscle the more powerful the orgasm

Is that grinning?

Before you grab your keys and run out to buy some Ben Wa balls, it’s a good idea to see just how strong your muscles are so you choose the right size balls.

The best way to figure out how much punch your vagina already has is to use the muscles to squeeze your fingers. Wash your hands and insert two fingers into your vagina as far as you can. Covering them with lube can make it easier if you’re not aroused. Try to use only your vaginal muscles to squeeze your fingers. Concentrate on isolating just those muscles and not squeezing your abdomen, upper thighs or buttocks.
Most women can engage the ring of muscles at the opening, try to see if you can squeeze with the ones further up as well. By trying to squeeze different areas in the vagina you can get a good idea of just how strong these muscles are.

Size Matters

Here is the best rule of thumb (or in this case the rule of two fingers). The weaker the muscles the larger the Ben Wa balls you’ll want.  The reason is you need to be able to have strong enough muscles to keep them inside the vagina. Yes they can fall out. That is why you want to practice at home first so you don’t find yourself chasing them around WalMart if you sneeze.

Pick a size that you think will not only feel good but has a little weight. If you get too big that’s okay because you’ll actually go smaller and smaller as you strengthen the muscle. Once you get used to using them you’ll know when to switch to a smaller size or increase the weight. If you buy some Ben Wa balls and they fall out, don’t panic just get a little bigger size. Some women like bigger Ben Wa balls because if placed behind the g-spot ait can feel pleasurable when the balls are squeezed.

There are many different Ben Wa Balls at Déjà vu Love Boutique. They come in a variety of shapes, sizes and materials. What you choose is a matter of preference. Metal, glass and silicone are the ones I recommend. The main reason is that all three materials are non-porous, easily cleaned and highly durable. Toy cleaner is a must! Anything inserted into the vagina (Ben Wa balls, dildos, vibrators etc) should be cleaned before and after use. It will keep your vagina healthy and happy.  And who doesn’t just love a happy vagina :-)

Also grab a little bottle of your favorite lube also. This can make inserting them easier and it also helps them roll around freely.

Can I Lose Them? Can They Get Stuck?

You cannot lose anything in your vagina. It is not a magicians hat where you put something in it and it vanishes. Ben Wa balls are too big to fit through the cervix; they can however slip up against the side of it and that’s usually where the “stuck” issue comes in. This is why some women prefer Ben Wa balls with a silicone string or a chain attached to them. If you’re more comfortable having a surefire way to get them out then by all means buy ones with a chain or string. It really comes down to what you prefer. The most important thing is to work those muscles!
If you ever feel like they are stuck – relax. Squatting and gently bearing down can move them and make them pop out. If not, then wash your hands and use your fingers to hook around them and pull them out while bearing down.

Using Your Ben Wa Balls

So you’ve picked your Ben Wa balls and now you’re ready for a workout! One thing I love is that, if done correctly, no one knows you’re exercising these muscles so you can do this anytime and anywhere for as long as you like.

Clean your Ben Wa balls and coat them in a little lube. Gently slide one right after another inside the vagina. You don’t need to push them all the way up; just inside the vagina past the first ring is perfect. It is not uncommon to put them in and then not feel them or only feel a little bit of pressure.  Don’t worry that’s normal; remember the nerve endings in the vagina are strongest at the opening.

How you decide to exercise is up to you. Some women like to lay back and relax the rest of their body; some like to use Ben Wa balls as part of their workout routine, others put them in and do dishes, errands or go to work. The most important thing is to remember to squeeze those muscles. Moving around can help with this as the weight of them will press down a little on the vaginal opening and you will automatically squeeze to keep the Ben Wa balls inside you. A good goal to work up to is ten sets of ten reps per day. Each rep should be – squeezing for ten seconds then relax for five to ten seconds depending on your strength. You can work up to this over several weeks as it will get easier as you build up those sexy muscles.

Ben Wa Balls, Arousal and Sex

Just the act of squeezing the vaginal muscles can make a woman wet. Depending on where the Ben Wa balls are placed can affect this as well. Rocking, either in a chair or by rolling your hips, when using especially small heavy metal Ben Wa balls can be very pleasurable. These smaller balls can also be worn during sex. Your partner may not feel them as much as you do but women have reported that the extra pressure and weight in the vagina feels wonderful and can help them orgasm. We absolutely do not want to overlook the fact that training the PC muscles can be fantastic for your partner as you can train yourself to squeeze during sex for both your pleasure.

Vaginal Weights – The Super Workout

I can’t write about strengthening your vaginal muscles without mentioning balls that are designed to have weights attached to them. Typically a larger single ball or sphere that is heavier than Ben Wa balls and is designed to be pulled up into the vagina. Once you build up the muscle you can attach weights to them for a serious workout. These are a bit more expensive than other Ben Wa balls but you never need to buy another size. In order to keep working the muscles you simply attach weight for resistance and continuing to exercise the vagina does the rest. I happen to love these as the ones Déjà vu Love Boutique carries are made from gemstones so they are smooth and heavy and offer a different way of exercising the vagina with impressive results.

In fact the woman who holds the world’s record for strongest vagina (Yes I am totally serious) can lift a whopping 35lbs using a ball similar to the one I just described.

If you think I am joking go search “World’s Strongest Vagina” and you’ll see the video.

And while vaginal weight lifting may never become an Olympic sport; training like it might is good for you, your health and your sex life.

So ladies..smile slyly and squeeze.

Wishing you strong, healthy, happy vaginas and partners who love them.

Tessa Ayden

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