Many women are familiar with their clitoris… others not so much.
I believe that unless women are as comfortable knowing their clitoris as men are with their penis we are lagging way behind in sexual health as well as pleasure. We’re also not being fair to ourselves by not being intimately knowledgeable about our own bodies and how to make ourselves go “Mmmmm”.

This is the question I always ask a woman who doesn’t know her body enough to achieve an orgasm on her own…If you can’t give yourself an orgasm how do you expect your partner to?

It is far easier to figure out how you can achieve a clitoral orgasm then to hope someone else will. That’s rather like telling someone you hid a treasure but then having no map to find it!

Well it’s time to dismiss the old taboos about masturbating and show the man in the boat some love!

Clitoris Anatomy

The easiest way to picture the clitoris is as a wishbone. The amazing nub at the top is the only part you can see. It is actually very similar to a small penis and gets erect and firm to the touch when it’s excited. Now don’t get all Freudian and think “Ooooh that’s where penis envy comes from!” Women actually have men beat in this area, While the glans, the head of the penis, has 4000 nerve endings the glans of the clitoris has a whopping 8000!! That should generate a little clit envy :-)

Every female mammal has a clitoris and scientist know its sole purpose is for sexual pleasure only. Thank you Mother Nature!

The rest of the clitoris is hidden but oh so powerful too! Coming down from the glans and the shaft (or body) is two very thick nerves called the crus. These nerves run down the sides towards the vagina and are on average 9cm long. Each crus sits on top of two wonderful bulbs called the bulbs of the vestibule; nice fancy name for two important features. During sexual arousal, these bulbs engorged along with the clitoris giving us a nice warm wet response!

What Rocks Your Little Man in the Boat?

With so many nerves in so many places, it may take some time to discover what really turns you on opposed to what just feels good. A great way to start figuring it out is with fingers. Resisting the urge to go straight to the clitoris can help get you in tune with your body. Instead, tease the sides where the crus run. These nerves are sensitive to pressure so stroking in various ways can help, not only fine-tune foreplay, but also teach you entirely new ways to orgasm .  Doing this is a great way to tease you, which can lead to a stronger orgasm. You can also put pressure above the clitoris where you’re stimulating the body of it but not the tip.

Every woman is different in what she will like and what will get her engine revving. Take some time to see where feels particularly good or where is just ho hum. Try different pressure, speed and places that stimulate the clitoris and the crus. You may be surprised at what new and delicious pleasure you can find.

If you’ve never achieved an orgasm this way then take your time and treat yourself as you would if you were doing it to someone else. We women are pretty darn good at the whole nurturing others but not often ourselves. Be your own best lover; whether it’s candlelight and rose petals or being all over yourself like a cheap suit! It doesn’t matter as long as you do what feels good to YOU!

I’m going to ask my readers to try this this week because next week we’re going to dive into clitoral stimulating toys!

Wishing you an amazing night of loving on yourself.

Tessa Ayden